Italy: a dude, not the country

I met this one a few months ago when I was dropping off my best friend at her boyfriend's. He was my best friend's boyfriend's roommate. He somewhat charmingly came up to my car and we joked around. He definitely wasn't someone I would normally be attracted to. Jersey Shore has been off the air for a few years now, but he looks as if he just walked off the set.

After we started seeing each other and I had decided to tell a couple of my friend's, I said to my friend's, "if you were to put five guys in a lineup, he would likely be the last one I would pick." I don't know where I got the idea that finding a mate was similar to picking a felon. He also told me that I wasn't his normal type either. He usually chooses girls who take three-hours to get ready; I go out without makeup half the time and wear a t-shirt that says "Genius" three out of seven days. Time management has never really been my thing.

We began the way it seems most relationships begin: talks about how open and honest we're going to be, great sex, and a shit-ton of Netflix. I should've broke it off when I witnessed him opening Internet Explored. C'mon, it's 2014. Also the fact that he thought Taken 2 was a "brilliant" movie should've sent me running. You see, when a guy has a fairly genuine confidence about him, I tend to forget just how obnoxious he really is.

Yet another factor that should've sent me running was the fact that he is catholic. Again, it's 2014. He actually believes that there is a man in the sky watching over all of us. I mean to think there is a man that watches our every individual move is quite self-centred. Most men I know can't even send a decent dick-pic; how can one man possibly be guiding the entire human race? God, if you're real, please guide your fellow man to photographing at least mediocre dick-pics.

Of course it wasn't all bad. He paid for everything. I smoked many of his cigarettes, he made some decent Italian food, and changed the oil in my car. It really is a shame that the confident ones are the ignorant...and catholic. I also have to say that he is very good at his job as a contractor. I suppose if I ever need a piece of furniture refurbished I may just have to sleep with him.